1 month Old

 
My sweet girl is 1 month old. As I reflect on how blessed I am  to have her here I can't help but to think of the day I first held her. I'm one to strongly believe that God's plan are always bigger than ours and this was shown the day all my L&D plans went out the window. On Sept 8th I was induced due to being diagnosed with gestational hypertension. When I became 38 weeks pregnant my blood pressure continued to rise very high especially for someone who's blood pressure was usually around 115/70. So when I went in for my 40 week appointment and it was 156/84 my doctor suggested that we do not wait and that we schedule an indcution the next day. Although all I wanted was to have this baby "naturally" I trusted my doctor and his plan. So on Thursday 9/8/2016 at 4:30pm we began the process. My plan was to not have an epidural and to try and have this baby as natural as possible. . Unfortunately after almost 30 hours I was not able to dilate past a 7 and my baby's heart rate kept dipping which made the nurses and the doctors nervous. At around 9:15pm on Sept 9th, my doctor came in and said that due to the baby being stressed the only option was to prepare for a C-section. At that time the nurses were moving the baby heart monitor to find a heart beat but they couldn't find it. I remember clearly looking at my sister and bursting into tears, then looking at Jeremy and seeing the nurse throw the scrubs at him and telling him  to put it on now and that we needed to Go. My sister, quickly came to my side as J put on his scrubs quickly and my sister said, "let's pray" and she prayed for me and my baby and J and told me that everything was going to be ok. Right after she prayed I remember hearing the nurse say we found her heart beat and just like that I  felt calm and prepared for what was to come. I remember the whole C-section procedure clearly, I remember just being anxious to see my baby. Then the nurse said, oh I see her, she's beautiful. They brought her around to see me and told us that she would have to spend a few hours in the NICU. I remember kissing her and telling her that she needed to be strong like mommy, and off she went. My sweet baby weight 8.6 lbs and was 21 and half inches long. I went to the recovery room where my mom stayed with me, thankfully Chloe only had to be in the NICU for about 2 hours instead of 6 like they had initially told us. They brought her to me and I held her on my chest and I just felt this overwhelming feeling of love. I was finally holding my baby in my arms. I knew at that minute that I would do anything for her, be anything she wanted me to be and love her more than anything in the world.
Although some days have been harder than others, I have enjoyed this first month with my baby, I've had quite a few of mommy breakdowns and I know that I will have several more throughout her life but when I hold her in my arms and she nuzzles her little head on my chest all my stress, frustrations, sadness, tiredness goes away.
I love you so Much Chloe Elizabeth. Here is  a flip a gram video I made with her pictures from the hospital. https://flipagram.com/f/x2kSQk5s63